Updates

I sometimes forget I have this blog, and that I really should update and post more often. Then I remember and more than a year has gone by. I think it's time to get back to writing and expressing how I am feeling more often. The biggest reason I started this blog was to share and update everyone about our family.

Let's see we have so much that has happened in our families lives that their isn't possibly a way for me to update with all the words. Photo's are worth a thousand words so I think I will update with photo's for this one. Starting from 2011 moving forward!!

2011 brought a lot of healing for us as a family as we learned to live without Dave's dad. We grew together as a family that year. We learned to communicate better than I could even imagine. That year brought our family closer together. And slowly we keep growing closer together. 

2012 brought Dave's graduation from college and a huge celebration!  We were so proud of him and his accomplishments that year. He did what the doctor's told his parents he couldn't do. Then I suggested to him why don't you go after your master's degree. He thought I was crazy!!! BUT Dave has learned that when I suggest something it's probably best to listen to me!!!! 

Makayla started 6th grade in 2012 I think Dave and I were completely sad that year, we couldn't' figure out where our baby girl has gone. When did she grow up on us and turn into this amazing kid who has just grown and bloomed in ways we didn't even think were possible? 

Then 2013 happened.... it started off okay... things were starting to go great for us as a family! Our cars were paid off and things were starting to look up FINALLY!!! Graduate school was going really good and life was just good. Then July 18, 2013 happened and our world as a family turned upside down. David's youngest brother Jon had a severe asthma attack and was in the hospital we had to get to Portland ASAP. We made a two hour drive in an hour and half, I don't think Dave has ever driven that fast after his accident. Nor do I care to be in the car with him any time soon when he drives that fast. We finally got to the hospital... his youngest brother has always been sickly was born failure to thrive. Had food allergies like crazy and horrible asthma that literally killed him. But our heavenly farther has a sense of humor and Jonny needed to be here. We were told that his lungs were seized and that they needed to do surgery to go in and open them up and put him on a heart and lung by pass machine to help bring oxygen into his blood. My brain was swilling going really heavenly father this isn't funny? We can't go through this again? Our family can't handle this again! NOT three year's a part!!! We sat in that waiting room for 3 hours and the doctors finally came down to talk to us and give us an update on Jon. They were bringing him up to the OR and he had two heart attacks... my mind went WHAT? HOW? are you speaking FRENCH? WHAT? How does a 27 year old man who is healthy except for asthma and food allergies have a heart attack? This just isn't possible not again!!! The doctors went on to inform us that instead of putting him on a mobile heart and lung bypass machine they had to use a traditional one. The machine involved someone sitting their pushing a button for blood to flow into him so that he could get his blood oxinated.It was a waiting game we were told he had a less than 50% chance of pulling through this, HOW and WHY went through my head. The doctor's said IF he WAKES UP he would have severe brain damage. MY heart SUNK!! NOT AGAIN heavenly father! Our family can't go through that again!!! We waited sleep didn't happen and then the phone call at 4am saying their is nothing more that they could do and that we needed to come NOW!!! That was the longest 10 min drive to the hospital. He had internal bleeding and they couldn't get it to stop which lead to something called DIC basically it's where the blood vessels explode inside your body! He was gone.... I hated 2013 with a passion July 19, 2013 was devastating for our family! We grew again together as a family we have leaned on each other in ways that I didn't know were possible. Dave talks to his brother and sister more than he has in years. I wanted 2013 to end and close the book forever! BUT you can't it was a year of learning and growing. It was a year of memories that will always be there. It was a year of building relationships that needed to be healed it was a year that I never want to relive EVER again!!! 

2014 has been a good start to a relaxing year as you can tell by this photo with Dave and our kitty boy Patches!!!!

What you don't know

I have never shared my husband’s story publicly, people have asked and I share it but never on FB and never with people have I never met. I have decided that this blog is probably a great place to start. So let me introduce you to my amazing husband Dave we have been married eight years but we have known each other fifteen years. Dave’s accident happened on February 9, 1997 on a very windy road in Oregon. Dave was coming home from work one night and has passed a car that was going well below the speed limit. Once he got around them he slowed back down to the speed limit but as he was slowing down he noticed a oncoming car coming in his lane coming around a corner. He had two choice he go swerve his car to the left and pray like heck there was no one in that lane or swerve to the right.  When he swerved to the right he only meant to park his car between two trees, what happened next changed my husband’s life forever. When he swerved to the right he hit a patch of black ice and wrapped his car around a tree. He put his then sports car in a dead spin at 35mph. His head went through the driver side window and smacked against the tree.  Dave suffers from a TBI his long term memories are the glue that holds it all together. His short term memory is ruined, if he can repeat task and is able to put them into long term memory he does great. He repeats himself, tells the same story from 20 year’s ago like it happened yesterday. We do a lot of laughing because the tears will not create magic dust to make his memory better. We have gone through job loss, we have struggled financially we have lost his SSDI because he worked just long enough and made too much money. Dave’s parents were told by he would never walk again, never talk again, he would be a vegetable for the rest of his life. He was in coma for a week. Though he knew somehow we were their especially when we told him we were going to take his credit card and go shopping he would growl at us even though he was unconscious. Dave does walk and talk, he holds a job that is part time, he builds stuff, and he holds three college degrees and will be finishing his master’s degree in the fall of this year. I love my husband very much there are times I want to scream and cry because I don’t have the energy to fight over silly things, or he rearranged my kitchen for the millionth time because he couldn't remember where something belonged so he put it where he thought it fit. Or when he stuff’s the washer machine full and isn't paying attention to the colors and I suddenly have not the same color clothes that went into the washer. Yes we laugh crying doesn't fix but there are times I want to cry.

 There are daily challenges of being married to someone who has a head injury, they range in from frustrations, memory loss, depression, anxiety. My husband is one of the lucky ones who is high functioning who can do things that the doctors told him he would never be able to do. My husband is a walking talking miracle. Yes we are part of that 20% of society that only 5% of people who are married to someone with a TBI their marriage will survive. But you see we have a lot of love in this family. We have a lot of patients and understanding, and we do do overs daily. We give each other chances and understanding. People thought I was a little nuts for wanting to marry someone with a head injury, people don't understand why my husband doesn't work full time, or why I am not a stay at home mom. I have been asked if I would ever get my turn at staying home and Dave going off to work. I have been frustrated and hurt then I remember that still small voice saying. Leah I told you if you followed my will I would guide you. Don't change the course on the path you are on. That small voice has helped me so much in eight years. That small voice has reminded me many times it's really going to be okay, that small voice has lead me to faith and prayer time and time again.